


Gays in a stairwell

by softelmax



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Anxiety, Bisexual Eleven | Jane Hopper, F/F, Lesbian, Lesbian Maxine "Max" Mayfield, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Stranger Things 3, soft lesbian babes, stranger things, tw panic attacks, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-23 22:50:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19711093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softelmax/pseuds/softelmax
Summary: In which El has a panic attack and Max is there to help





	Gays in a stairwell

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone! this is my first stranger things fic in a WHILE and my first fic in general since like January. i really liked how this turned out! No beta today, all mistakes are mine. obviously TW for PTSD and panic attacks. -Clara

Colors. That was the first thing that hit El Hopper in the middle of the starcourt mall. Green, blue, yellow, red, pink, purple, and everything in between. If El had a paint brush then wow.... what a picture that would be!  
Then the smells came into focus, suffocating her nose. Ice cream, cakes, candies, hot dogs, cheeseburgers. It was a dream, and definitely a step above cold waffles straight out of the box.  
She blew a strand of hair out of her eyes and spun around on her on her heels,taking in all of her surroundings. She had only been to starcourt once, at the beginning of the opening. it wasn’t so crowded and half the businesses had been closed, getting prepared for the “official” grand opening on July 4th. Two weeks had past and it seemed like everyone in Hawkins wanted the mall experience. 

El had never been near this many people all at once. she lost track of Max, she walked while craning her head around and wasn’t looking were she was walking. She stumbled as a tall man with greying hair bumped into her. “sorry doll” he said, and he flashed her a smile and was gone, but anxiety blasted through her chest. it wasn’t- it couldn’t be- that man, looked like papa. same haircut, same sickly thin face, same long legs. But it couldn’t be. He was dead. 

That was the last coherent thought that passed through her head before she started having pain in her chest and face. All logic went out the window as she started breathing heavily. The mall’s bright lights and loud music, that has previously been mystifying, became terrifying. she clutched her chest, afraid that if she let go, her heart would burst out and run off. Her legs started shaking and she clutched a bench arm rest just for the sake of having something to hold on to. She thought she heard someone calling her name, but she was too far into the lab memories to answer. She felt a hand clap onto her shoulder and thought “This is it. I’m going back. They’ve come for me.” Before Max’s voice rang out over the paranoia.   
“El. EL. are you okay? why did you wander off??”  
El gasped, trying to speak. She managed to get out ”i-“ before her vocal cords gave out. Max looked concerned and scanned the room, looking for the source of what upset her while El focused on the strand of red hair that was in a perfect curl.   
“Here, I know. You’re okay, you’re safe. Can I touch you?”  
She nodded.   
Max took her hand and gently guided her to the door in the corner of the room. she opened it revealing several flights of stairs leading up to other floors. Max locked the door behind them and lead El up. they climbed up two flights of stairs with one of El’s hands resting on the railing and the other on a death grip on max’s arm, trying to stabilize her shaking body.   
They reached the second landing and Max placed her hands on her waist and helped her maneuver to the floor. Even in her panicked state, she felt butterflies in her stomach from the simple touch.   
Max crossed her legs and faced her. “Hey, do you want support or do you want to talk about what happened back there? whatever triggered that panic attack must have been pretty upsetting.”  
She tilted her head like a confused puppy. “Panic attack?”   
“I’m assuming that’s what it was, yeah. You seemed pretty scared. It’s when you’re not actually in danger, but your brain tricks your body into thinking that it is. I used to have them. Still do if I don’t take my meds. I get how scary they can be”.   
After that simple sentence, El saw Max in a whole new light. She always thought of Max as fearless and confident, and in a way, it made her feel more infatuated with her to know that she was human too. and understood what she was going through. 

Then her thoughts strayed to Papa again, and she started shaking harder and her breathing sped up again. the soft lights turned into the containment room lighting. Max noticed the change and asked again “Do you want distractions or to talk about it?”  
at the moment, the very idea of putting it into words scared her. So she whispered “distractions”. Max thought for a second and then launched into a story about how Dustin build a tower on her skateboard made out of cheese puffs and peanut butter as a “prank” for April fools day.  
“And I never quite did get the peanut butter smell off.” she said when she was finished. El gave a shuddery laugh. she was still shaking slightly, but less than before. Her heart no longer was in danger of making a run for it, and when she looked at the room, she just saw a slightly dirty stairwell. Nothing else.   
“I think I’m ready to talk about it now, if that’s okay” she said, and surprised even herself when she heard how steady her voice was.   
Max slowly reached over and took her hand. “I’m listening.”   
she looked up and gazed into her ocean eyes. blushing slightly, she looked down at her lap.  
“I was walking through the crowd and you were in front of me, and I was so distracted from the stuff around us, and this man bumped into me. and Max,,, he looked like Papa.”   
“He looked like hopper? “  
“No no no. definitely not. he looked like- he looked like Dr. Brenner. The man from the lab.” That’s all she got out before she choked up again.   
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to” Max said softly. Moving her hand from her palm to her lap. Rubbing small circles on her thigh with her thumb.   
“No I want to, it’s just hard... Then I just kinda started panicking. I felt like he was back, and was going to take me back to the lab. and I would never see you or my friends ever again. I don’t know if I could escape a third time.” she said, her eyes tearing up.   
“Hey. listen. I would never ever let that happen. They’d have to get through me first. And you know how scary i can be.” She said, El stifled a laugh as Max puffed out her chest, showing off her full size at 5’2. “Seriously though El, I really care about you, so trust me when I promise you that you’re safe.” Max said. stroking El’s cheek and wiping away her tears.   
“I love you. i really do. thanks.” she said, praying Max would wrongly assume that she meant in a platonic way. She impulsively reached out and hugged her best friend.

El wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, but after a while Max shifted and in one swift moment El moved and sat with her head against Max’s chest, almost on her lap while max played with her hair, waiting for her breath to steady. occasionally whispering reassuring things. eventually El’s breathing slowed, she stopped hyperventilating, and stopped shaking all together.   
The two girls stood. Unsure of what their previous position meant. Max grabbed El’s wrist. “Wanna go see if we can manipulate Steve into giving us free ice cream?”   
El smiled and gave her her most high pitched annoying Stacey voice. “um. duh!” they both lost it as they climbed down the stairs and entered the mall again. And for the first time in a while, El felt truly safe.

**Author's Note:**

> please forgive me if there’s spelling errors. it’s 1 am and the dyslexia jumped out 🙈. may delete in the morning. and tell me in the comments if you want me to continue this story line! kudos and comments are appreciated xx  
> ~awkwardtimelady on tumblr~


End file.
